Looking at Flowers

I am taking the challenge to live now.
Not as I have been –
Scuttling on ragged claws,
eyes blinded by the search for
newer, better and brighter
circumstances
eyes looking so hard for a paradise of story books,
eyes that feel so heavy under the weight of expectation.

I am choosing to be alive now.
And life is found only when eyes
are open to notice fragile moments,
only when my body is alert
only through a waltz that is easily unnoticed,
when we take notice of the fairy dance in rings of tangled flowers.
Life begins when
I am quiet enough to see.

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Gaia Roars

Part 1

Gaia roars,
Rumbling from her belly,
Her love growing from the depth of her anger,
She is bigger and
older
than all of us.
And I witness her rage,
Grass growing through the
paved highways,
Her assertion of taking up space.
Gaia roars.

Part 2 – Can’t You Hear Her?

“The blue sky is her mind, the green leaves pulse with her blood, the wind is her breath, the rain, her water of life. She is Gaia, the Earth Mother, but also subtler than that.” – Ram Dass

You told me (tucking your body in tightly, looking at the ground)
that you couldn’t dance
anymore,
knowing of her ongoing rape,
by skidders
and corporate judgements.
You looked past me, because I was too small to love,
And you had boxed yourself too tightly into rage,
Screaming into your pillow at night,
Rocking back and forth is sobs.
You told me that you were afraid of
going crazy,
like every woman who breaks my
silence late at night,
falling into the insanity of rage,
warranting straight jackets
and solitude
in a cold, white room.
You told me that you were too
dark to love.

But no.
I love you, because you are the darkness of Gaia’s corners,
the wilderness of hurricanes and
ocean storms.
And yet, you and I, we are also
both maple keys,
burying ourselves into the soil,
imagining our future as two
entwining trees, grounded but spreading,
dancing wildly,
celebrating our rebirth.

Trees

Snorkeling

The ocean carries my body, weightless
Swimming is like flying, with the freedom and joy but without the anxiety, as I’ve always been afraid of heights
Nestled in my silence, with only the sound of my breathing, the ocean sings that life is here, life is everywhere, and we are all connected
The ocean is shouting now: have you forgotten the fact that we are all connected? Where have you been, running too fast to feel connection?
Light reflects through the water, where I swim through thousands of brilliantly colored and baby minnows just born
Life cycles to death which cycles to life here
We are all connected

Water Is My Medicine

I come down to the water when I feeling unwell
Unbalanced, stressed out, my neck muscles knotted from sitting at a computer all day
My spirit dull from being inside all day
And as soon as I stand here at the water
Seeing the blue blue sky and water
Hearing the waves rhythmically rolling across the sand
Feeling the sun rays warm my neck, back, hands
My body and spirit, intimately connected
Relax, open, breathe.

Cabin in the Woods

Sometimes what you need is to go to a cabin in the woods
To pack the car and drive far away from the big city lights
Arrive late at night, flashlight helping you to find our way through the forest, so bone tired that you fall into bed
But not before you see the thousands of stars in the black sky and feel the presence of what you have been thirsty for, for months, for years, for a lifetime
The presence you can only call God, because there are no words to describe
How you feel in nature.
You wake up to:
the air so fresh
sunlight flickering through the trees
wind whispering a timeless chant and leaves dancing along
birds chirping the melody
a symphony of music that is only heard when you can hear the silence too.
You are aware of your breath and the flow of spirit from within you.
You are aware of your heart, giving thanks for its beating, and this drum beat joins the symphony
Sometimes you need to go to a cabin in the woods

Cabininthewoods-photo

Summer in a Bottle

If I could bottle summer up
The sun’s rays warming my face
The glistening water sparkling in the sun
My body floating effortlessly, weightless
Peace, pure peace in this moment
If I could bottle this up
Kids splashing and laughing
Running in and out with juicy peaches and dripping bathing suits
Not a care in the world
I would
I would open the bottle in November
To get through the cold dark nights of winter
To remind myself that seasons change and the cold won’t last forever
I would open the bottle in December
When my muscles are tight from wearing heavy coats and shivering as I run to get inside
When my skin cracks and bleeds from the cold
I would keep the bottle open in January, February and March
Waiting for the ground to thaw, keeping my eye out for the budding of flowers, the birds singing, the first signs of life again
Waiting for the summer sun to come again